Boy Meets Girl
by 0afan0
Summary: This series will chronicle the adventures that occur during a budding romance between a Romulan officer and a pretty Human college student. Love at first sight! Or is Love blind? Please read on to find out.
1. My Hunk of Burning Love

**I've been reviewing ByaSouthernLady's stories for some time now. I've been learning from her as well. As there are not a great many Romulan/Human Romance stories out there, she asked me to compose a suitable addition. I am a reader by nature and I tend to absorb the character traits of those I read about. Had I been reading about Jane Austin's Mr. Darcy, this story might have been far more elegant. Unfortunately, for her, I was reading Groucho Marx. Oh well, you play it as it lies. Please enjoy!**

Diary Entry: My Hunk of Burning Love  
Stardate: N/A

Dear Diary,

Life is beautiful!

My Hunk is beautiful. Well, he's not beautiful, he's steamy. He rocks! And he's all mine! So, I know you're wondering. Like, how did a beautiful, sexy, brilliant, fashionable, person like me catch a beef steak like this? I'm so glad you asked. OK, so it happened this way. Pay attention now 'cause when I get going you're gonna need a starship to keep up. Yep. I'm that good.

There I was standing on the deck of the _Gasping Dolphin_. For a starship, the _Dolphin_'s a real dump. But, I had to be here. I mean Professor Feinstein made me.

My well-known and worlds-famous Galactic History teacher (a genius so I'm told) completely misunderstood my end-of-the-semester research paper. See, we had to write five pages on what we felt was the most important historical event covered during our class. I did ten because the topic just grabbed me and wouldn't let go.

So, I wrote about the most important historical event of our class. I turned it in. And... He flunked me! Me! He may be a genius, but I can't see it. I mean, like, you tell me. If you received an first class paper about the absolute best party of the year, how would you grade it? There were graphic descriptions, details of what everyone was wearing, and everything. And get this. I even compared it to each of the Seven Wonders of the World. I just think he was jealous because he didn't get an invitation. Some people are like that, you know.

So, here I am - another victim of our narrow-minded and backward-looking Federation. I shine forth like a Beacon of Enlightenment, a fresh new face plunging optimistically into Off-World Academia. And I get remedial work. What a way to spend the summer!

But I'm like that girl in _Gone With The Wind_. You know, the ancient Earth movie. Like, "Tomorrow is another day," you guys.

Anyway, enough about me. Back to My Hunk. So there I was, standing on the deck of the _Gasping Dolphin_. And, like, "Gasp!"

No, really guys, this ship comes tearing out of warp and _attacks_ us. Oh My Gosh! People are screaming and running around. And I just stood there. Transfixed, you know. Cause the attacking ship was so adorable! It was this really cute shade of forest green and looked like a kind of macho bird. (Once, I thought about doing Art instead of History, but my Daddy said, "Girl, you can't do it all. The family coffers can't support it." Whatever that means. I'd say that it has to do with money (See, Professor, more History!) but we're in the Federation, baby! We don't use money! Besides, you know, if I did everything, it wouldn't be fair to the rest of the galaxy. I'm really very thoughtful like that.)

So, anyway. The ship started rocking 'cause we were being shot at. We couldn't shoot back since passenger freighters aren't armed. This Bolian chick next to me started screaming about how stupid that was. And I let her know that arming ships was how a lot of wars got started (See, I know lots of History. And like you know, just because I'm smart enough to know what's relev- But, never mind.) There were some crashes and explosions and there was smoke everywhere. And then, all of these figures beamed in coalescing in the light like magical moonbeams. There was dead silence. I mean you could have heard a credit drop. And then, serious "Gasp!"

I could see him clearly. He looked like the most darling little elf. Well, he wasn't really little. He was taller than me, but he had that cute look that small elves have (like in pictures). His ears had points and he had this cute little haircut. He was close enough to touch. Almost like he beamed into my arms. It was as if he was looking right at me and through me at the same time. Looking right into My Soul. He took my breath away. Honest. I couldn't help myself. His face, his lips, so close to mine (It was a scene right out of a movie!) I leaned forward and planted one right on his lips. I was gazing into his wide open eyes and he was gazing into mine. It was like Heaven or True Love. I don't know which would have been better. Of course, it might have been better if he had kissed back. I was about to suggest it to him in what would be our first, deep, intimate moment. And then...

I fell down! I was stunned for a moment. And then I realized that he must have, like, moved away by accident. There was a big crowd milling around. He was looking all over the place. I knew he had to be looking for me and he couldn't see me because of all that darned smoke. I had just enough presence of mind to grab onto his ankle.

He fell over! My poor Hunk! He said something in this foreign language and then his men came to help me up. They were a little rough but they were probably in awe over my great beauty. Plus they probably caught onto Our Connection. Then My Hunk came over looking like a great King and spoke right to me. I couldn't understand him but it was so forceful and majestic that I just looked at him trying to encourage him on with my eyes. He gazed into my eyes, entranced, I think. I'm sure he could feel it too. Then he said something else. And we became moonbeams together!

* * *

The next thing I know we're on the other ship. You know, the green bird. His men escorted me to my room while he strode off down the corridor looking so cute and handsome - even from the rear. So, I decided to think things out. I mean, I guess this means no more summer school. "No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks!"

I started thinking about his language. I remember, I had this friend girl that dated a Vulcan from Starfleet Academy. He was kind of cute - for a robot. But he spoke some real Vulcan for us once and it didn't sound like what My Hunk had said. OK, so if it wasn't Vulcan, then the only other alien elves I've heard of are Romulans.

Oohh... Carried off by an exotic hunky Prince! (I hope he's rich. That would make Daddy happy. He likes to say that I am High Maintenance. He's always going on about how we aren't related to one of those ancient royal lines. You know, like they used to have on Earth. Maybe he'd settle for an elf. They're a part of ancient Earth mythology. He won't need to worry, though. He'll just be happy that I'm married.)

Alright, so here I am on a Romulan War Bird with my own private room. And I know My Hunk will be here soon cause he wouldn't have brought me with him except to further the course of True Love. To think, it all started in one electric moment - a spark leaping joyously between our souls! We're just like Paris and Helen of Troy! Take that Professor Feinstein!

Oh... I'm so excited!

Good Night Dear Diary.  
Sweet Dreams! I know I'll have them.

End Entry.


	2. Earth Girls Are Crazy!

**And so it continues. My thanks to ByaSouthernLady and thyme2read, as well as Tazzy88. Feedback is always appreciated. Please enjoy.**

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

This shift began like any other. I awoke, dressed, ate in the officer's mess, and then arrived on the bridge in ample time to relieve the night duty officer and to take my place at my captain's side. In the short time since I have embarked on my military career, I have been very fortunate to serve under such a skilled strategist. The captain has even commended my performance on several past occasions. Only recently, he has told me that it will not be long before I receive a command of my own.

Today will mark the 200th day of our patrol. We are, to mimic our new Vulcan allies, precisely 20 days past our scheduled maintenance refit and overhaul. Our recent entry into the Dominion war, precipitated by the treacherous assassination of Senator Vreenak by Dominion agents, has extended our patrol indefinitely. The Imperial Romulan Warbird, the _Serpent's Tooth_, is in a state of vigilant combat readiness. We are prepared to serve the Empire in whatever capacity is necessary.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

We have just received a important directive from The Romulan High Command. Tal Shiar operatives intercepted a communication from Starfleet Command to their starships patrolling this sector. A Dominion agent is reported to be traveling from Earth on board a passenger vessel known to be operating in this area. Their successful capture would provide the High Command and the Tal Shiar with important intelligence on Dominion military activities. We have been ordered to alter course and proceed at the highest possible speed to the target coordinates.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

We are still on course to our target. New information is trickling in a little at a time. We now know the vessel's name. It is the _Gasping Dolphin_. What peculiar names the Federation has for their ships!

The captain has requested that I take the lead on this and so I and the other bridge officers have been planning the mission using all of the information and tools at our disposal.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

The Dominion agent is a Founder! The Tal Shiar has positively confirmed that one of the elusive shape-shifters is almost within our grasp. Its capture will advance Romulan intelligence far past that of the Federation and our other "allies." No doubt, the High Command will share intelligence with the others but the glory of the capture will belong to us.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

Crew morale is high. This may be a dangerous mission, but there will be rewards and glory for all involved. After completion, no member of this crew need be concerned about career advancement. We will be welcome on any ship in the fleet. In fact, if the nature of our mission were widely known, many of the other warbirds would gladly compete for our prize. The captain has spoken to the High Command and, with victory, we have been promised an extended shore leave on a planet of his choosing.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

We know that the Federation possesses the same information as we do. We also know that we are closer to the ship than any of their craft. Our attack must be quick and concise. We do not expect any damage to the ship as all Federation passenger vessels are unarmed.

We will drop out of warp directly in front of them firing our weapons only enough to bring them to a standstill. Then, I and a company of centurions will beam aboard and apprehend the Founder. In an attack, the captain of the _Gasping Dolphin_ will move all of the passengers to the observation deck for safety and as an attempt to convince the attacking ship as to the nature of his cargo.

We now await only a description of the shape-shifter.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

There is no description.

The Romulan High Command does not know what the Founder looks like. The Tal Shiar has analyzed every fragment of the original communication but they were not able to determine the shape-shifter's identity. They were not forthcoming on why, but based upon my military experience, I suspect the original communication was incomplete.

However, the captain has informed us that the mission will continue. The High Command has assured him that they have absolute confidence in his abilities and in the capabilities of the _Serpent's Tooth_.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

The captain has informed me that just as the High Command has confidence in him, so he also has the utmost confidence in his first officer. He has intimated that a successful resolution to this mission will guarantee that I get my own ship.

Even with the new intel, our basic plan is unchanged. We will board the ship as planned and look for the person who is out of place. It is true that the shape-shifter can change form but its best defense will be to keep its current form and blend in with the rest of the passengers. In a crisis situation everyone makes mistakes, we will try to force its hand. The chance of failure is higher, but we have surprise on our side.

We have the _Gasping Dolphin_ on our scanners. We are closing fast. It is almost time.

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log  
Stardate: N/A

Where did it all go wrong?

We followed the mission almost exactly as planned. The captain added some brilliant last minute improvisations. First, he instructed the transporter officer to beam my team in close by and among the passengers. He also ordered the weapons officer to make certain to disable the passenger vessel's universal translator along with the standard communications. The passengers would only hear us speak Romulan. We would be able to inject more chaos into the situation and make our prize reveal itself.

The _Serpent's Tooth_ dropped out of warp and opened fire. We beamed in. The transporter officer took his orders almost too enthusiastically.

I materialized right in front of a very beautiful Human female. I could have reached out and touched her. She had blond silken hair and sky blue eyes. She was a figure of above average beauty - my suspicions were aroused immediately. Why would a person of such obvious beauty and breeding be traveling on a run-down vessel such as this? No Romulan parent would even consider such a prospect. However, I reserved judgment. Human parents might allow such a thing. But, my already low opinion of them sank a little further.

She kissed me! I could not believe my luck. The success of this mission, I freely admit, was never very high. I was under no illusion as to what happens to people the High Command is displeased with. With the war we might not die, but we might wish for it. And, now, my prey was practically throwing itself into my hands. But, still I did nothing overt. Again, I have heard that cultural standards on Earth are different. There was the slimmest chance that this might not be the shape-shifter.

I stepped away and glanced over the crowd, deliberately exposing my back to the female. It was not a great risk, as the Centurions were watching, but the appearance was there. As I moved away, I felt a hand much like a talon grasp me around the ankle and pull me down to the floor. Turning, it was as I suspected, the changeling had unmasked itself. It still looked like a beautiful blonde but I now knew what bloodthirsty intelligence and cunning lay beneath that beauty.

I called to my centurions and they rushed over and took her into custody. I stood before it and informed it that Romulans are not as easily fooled as the Federation. It stared at me still playing the innocent. I was surprised. I expected more resistance, but perhaps, these Founders are not as intelligent as noted, or perhaps, it was playing a waiting game. Its possible intent made my blood run cold.

We beamed out.

Once we were safely aboard the _Serpent's Tooth_, the captain jumped us to high warp. We did not want be around when or if the Federation arrived. The other vessel was not heavily damaged and could get under way shortly - minus one passenger.

I had breathed a deep sigh of relief that it had all worked out. I started to take another one. I stopped in mid-breath.

The transporter officer reported that the patterns showed nothing extraordinary. Only normal Romulan and Human patterns were there. The pattern analysis should have detected an anomaly. Something! There was still a chance, though. I extracted a vial from my pocket and grabbing its hand in mine, pricked its finger drawing blood.

Blood!

Not shape-shifter DNA or weird material, just... Simple. Ordinary. Human blood. We had failed. I had failed.

I escorted her to a cabin, placed her within, and posted a guard. I went off alone to face the captain.

He was not pleased. How can we salvage this? We have attacked a Federation vessel and kidnapped one of their citizens. If the Lady had been a shape-shifter, our actions could probably be excused. We can probably get away with producing no Founder as long as we can satisfactorily explain things to the Romulan High Command. We also need to find a way to convince our new prisoner to stay on board of her own free will and not cause us any trouble. After all, it would raise a lot of questions if we caught up to the _Gasping Dolphin_ in order to return their missing passenger. We'd have to attack it again!

I sense that my command has slipped away - maybe forever.

What happened?

End Entry.

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log - Supplemental  
Stardate: N/A

Earth Girls Are Crazy!

End Entry.

* * *

Close Log.


	3. Some Guys Play Hard to Get

**It's been awhile. I ran out of Groucho Marx - and into writer's block. I got some story help from ByaSouthernLady. I'm reading P.G. Wodehouse now (Jeeves and Wooster)****, so I'll see if I can get the next chapter up sooner. **I'd like to thank all of my reviewers and followers. You are much appreciated. 

Diary Entry: Some Guys Play Hard To Get  
Stardate: N/A

Dear Diary,

Some guys play hard to get!

But its OK. I enjoy the chase. Hunky does, too.

How do I know?

I just feel it – right in the innermost chambers of my heart! Don't worry when you get that feeling, you'll know. Baby, you'll know! (My Mom probably feels it too, but thats just icky.)

Today has been in-cre-di-ble. I'm like in Seventh Heaven, you guys. So much has happened. I mean I met the captain. And get this, he looks like my Daddy.

Yep, he's that old. I mean it's not like they're brothers or anything. My Dad doesn't have pointed ears and his hair is cut way different. Oh, and he's not a Romulan. There are more differences than that. But, my motto is Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations (I mean the Vulcans got it so right. They're not bad - for robots). I think that my family will be welcomed with open arms. After all, I have the captain on my side. I talked to him about it!

It's a lot like having a second Daddy. You know, a father figure! I'd say he's dishy, but he looks like my Dad. Now, it's not like my Dad is someone that you'd cross the street to avoid, or whose face curdles milk, or breaks mirrors, or turns people to stone like the Medusa, but they are alike. Fathers aren't supposed to be dishy. That would be just too weird. Like, if Helen of Troy met Paris' dad, the dad would probably be dishy, (I mean, look what he produced, you guys). But if you've got a young dreamboat, why would you be looking at the old tugboat? Well?

I think he might drink too much though. Halfway through our little talk when I was telling him about the comparative differences between Vulcans and Romulans, he got up and poured himself a drink. In the morning, too! My Mom says only drunks and bums do that. (I'll just leave that part out when I talk to my parents.)

First Impressions? He seems to be the strong and silent type cause he didn't talk for the longest time. But, then, just as I was starting to plead my case in earnest, he leapt out of his chair and interrupted me. I was very upset - I mean you just don't cut off a lady when she speaks. Then, he told me that he just couldn't bear it if he prevented the course of True Love. He assured me that I would be treated like a VIP guest and just to show it, he would assign his very own first officer to be my chaperone. And guess who that was? My Hunk, of course.

Well, I thought my Hunk was the captain but he's only the first officer. It's still cute though. Plus, I know he has big ambitions and he'll need a good wife at his side. You know, because behind every good man there's a great woman. Thats what my Mom always says.

This morning was really neat. I woke up. And oh my gosh! I wasn't in my room. And then I remembered that I had a different room on the _Gasping Dolphin_ and I thought, well cool, and then I realized that I wasn't in that room either. And then, Z_ing_ - like a shot from Cupid's bow! I figured out whose bed I was in.

His!

Isn't that romantic? I mean, it's not like he was there, too - not at anytime during the night. I'm not that kind of a girl. Still, he gave up his room for me. I think I inspire him.

How do I know? He has my blood on his hands! He took it last night when I first came aboard. Don't you see? He knew he'd have to be away from me from time to time, and he desperately needed something to remember me by. He's like a little lost puppy. You know, like in _Lady and the Tramp_. He's my Tramp. And he didn't stay away for long either.

My Hunk came to our cabin to personally escort me on a tour of the ship. I can tell he really admires his captain because he emulates him really well. I'm gonna get him to loosen up though. You can carry the strong, silent type too far, you know.

He showed me everything.

It was like being on a pirate ship. You know, like in _Muppet Treasure Island_. You have to have heard of it. Its another ancient Earth movie. All the actors are puppets!

You have the wind billowing through the sails, the crash of the waves against the hull, the sounds of the sea gulls following the wake of the ship looking for fish - except we're in space. (And you know, out here, no one could hear you scream! I think I'm going to try it though. I'll get My Hunk to take me. We could wear suits and hold hands and then walk all the way around the ship. It can be our first romantic walk. Hey, a girl can dream!) But here, I'm surrounded by fierce alien elves. Well, this is a war ship so I have to say they're fierce but they've been really nice to me. My Hunk gives them a dirty look if they're not.

You know, I can't help but notice that all of the crew seem to go to the same barber. He must be really over-worked cause everyone has the exact same haircut. I wonder if he would appreciate some tips. Or, even some help! I like to make myself useful. Back home, my girlfriends and I always had fun cutting my dog's hair. Rhett looked darling. Just like my Hunk! We never got one complaint!

My Hunk doesn't talk much but he doesn't have to. He says it all with his eyes. And his eyes are so dreamy and mysterious - and just this perfect shade of hazlenut. I can feel his love radiating out of them. I called him the beef steak, but I feel like a little filet mignon. He can sure make me sizzle. I know he's roasting, too. He's just not well done yet. But, he'll open up. He's probably still wrestling with his maelstrom of pent-up passions. You know, still waters run deep.

I already have it mostly planned out. The wedding, you know. I mean a girl expects the wedding of her dreams. And I dream big (thats what my Daddy says). And I have plenty of dreams, too - especially about my Hunk. We even have a captain to perform the ceremony.

Good Night Dear Diary.

End Entry.


	4. In Space No One Can Hear You Scream

**My thanks to all of my reviewers so far. It has been a long dry spell. I encountered enough writer's blocks to have constructed the Great Pyramid several times over. With hat in hand, I approached ByaSouthernLady and asked for her expertise on Romulans. As a result of the intense negotiations, going forward this will be a joint venture. Thank you, my Lady.**

* * *

First Officer's Personal Log

I'm recording this entry from my new room assignment. Until further notice, I'm sharing quarters with the first Centurion. I was ordered to give up my quarters to our...passenger. The alternative, to stay in the room with her, was _unacceptable_. To my shock and alarm, the captain actually suggested that I do that very thing! Apparently, the human lady has taken a liking to me. I suppose I should have known by the way she kissed me when I first beamed next to her.

Because she is a Federation citizen who has essentially been kidnapped, we are in a delicate predicament. It would raise too many questions if we were to return her to the _Gasping Dolphin_ at this point. Therefore, we have to convince her to stay aboard our ship, as well as keep her quiet and happy so that the matter doesn't get complicated any further.

And things are complicated enough. We learned that a Federation vessel stopped the _Dolphin_ not long after we left and detained the real shape-shifter. It was none other than the Bolian girl who was sitting next to the human lady—naturally, that one was going to be my next guess. It had been lulled into a false sense of security due to our failure to discover it. The press release from the High Command announced that our attack was all part of the original plan to catch the dangerous foe. That, along with our passenger's infatuation toward me, is no doubt the reason the captain didn't throw me out of the nearest airlock.

For the time being, I have been relieved of my regular duties. My primary assignment now is to see to the every need and whim of this lady. If she raises even the slightest complaint, my career is definitely over. The mission was a failure, and the captain blames me for it. Perhaps he is correct, but I told him in no uncertain terms that I would only go so far. I'm a solider—not a gigolo! And I am most certainly _not_ her "hunk"!

I decided to start today with a tour. What else is there to do? We went all through the ship, but I was careful to avoid the bridge (the captain is even more annoyed with her than I am, and I'm already in enough of a bind). She questioned me incessantly, always batting her eyelashes every time she looked at me. Rather than respond to her advances, I chose to restrict my conversation to the details of the ship.

Not good enough. My reserve started to displease her, so I answered her questions about my career. I suppose it was considerate of her to say she thought I had much potential, and that I would go far. That shows that she has some intelligence. She is more than I expected from a human. But she really has no idea what she's gotten me into. And I didn't dare tell her.

Most of the crew seems to like her well enough, but there are those who share the captain's sentiments. I had to threaten a few of them into showing her due respect. She saw this and interpreted my actions to mean that I share her feelings. She amorously told me I was a "cute elf," and I was concerned that she might try to kiss me again.

By the end of the day, I was at the end of my patience. She, on the other hand, was showing no signs of winding down. In fact, she informed me that she was in the regular habit of staying out all night every weekend with her friends at school. I cannot fathom how that's conducive to learning.

Since I'm not on active duty, I took the opportunity to have a drink. One drink turned to several drinks. The ale was too strong for her, so I had to water it down. Humans and their weak palates! Despite her claim that she wasn't a "beer girl," she consumed a rather large quantity. I had hoped it would finally calm her down. But once again, my hopes were dashed.

Instead, she became even more excited and began talking of our supposed wedding, and how pleased she was that we even had a captain to marry us. She informed me down to the last minutia of how "we" were going to proceed with this "joyous event," and then claimed that my input was important to her. Earth girls really are crazy... But if Earth men can handle them, surely a Romulan soldier can manage one of them?

After several long hours of her telling me every single detail of her life at college, she mercifully passed out. There's going to be hell to pay when she wakes up in the morning, but at least I have a temporary reprieve. Maybe I'll do this again tomorrow night. Aside from beaming her out into space, I don't think I'll have peace any other way. In space, no one can hear a scream...

Tomorrow we'll be resupplying at a Ferengi station. We'll be docked for an entire day, so it will be the perfect opportunity for some long-overdue shore leave. The lady is quite enthusiastic about it. This was her first trip away from Earth. This should be rich. In theory, there will be so much to see and do there that her attention will be diverted away from me for a short period of time. Perhaps she'll want to stay there. But Romulans don't believe in luck.

For now, I'm going to try to sleep and forget that I've hit the rock bottom and started to dig. I rue the day I wished for an exciting career in the Star Navy I really should have been a politician like my parents always wanted.


End file.
